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poem   
01:00am 19/06/2007
  Daisy, dear, was 17
Living life inside a dream
Walking by the river blue
All her hopes would all come true

But Daisy had a daunting past
Which led her down the river black
With broken paddle, broken mast
She felt that she could not get back

Daisy's fear then filled her head
Mental terror, a river red
Paralyzed by an unknown sting
Daisy, dear, began to sing:

"Love is blind
Heaven's gone deaf
But my eyes are open
My ears are open
And I'll sing 'till my death"

yeah. randomly came to me like 2 months ago in study hall.
yep.
 
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11:49am 13/06/2007
  Around 10 months ago I started dating Teddy.
And the fact that I am still hopelessly in love truly amazes and scares the living shit out of me.
 
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04:11pm 30/04/2007
  Lately I've been feeling like something isn't right...some thing's off balance.
And I don't like it.

My friends mean more to me than they could ever know. And for some reason, I don't think they realize that. A month ago, they all sat me down and (in as nice a way as was possible for the situation I suppose)told me problems they were having with me. Obviously, they had all been discussing these things with each other for awhile, as they told me they had been meaning to sit me down a lot earlier. That ticked me off because they're always saying "if you have a problem, just go right to the person..." but whatever. I'm not one to judge. I can never open up my goddamn mouth anyway. I'm such a coward it isn't even fucking funny. Anyhoo, they sat me down and told me all the problems they were having with me, most of which involved teddy...and I sat and listened.

Did I agree with all that they said?
No. I even told them that.

However, I looked at it like this-they're my friends. I consider them family, even if that notion isn't returned. If they're that upset-even if I don't necessarily agree-I'm going to try and make them feel better. If you care about someone you don't want them upset right? So that's what I've been doing. I've been trying to spend less time with teddy. I've been calling my friends more, asking them to do more things...but they're busy. And a lot of times when I try...circumstances make me fail. And that's no one's fault...we're all busy people. But I've really been trying to make them happy. I've always prided myself on trying to be the best friend possible. I'm not perfect...by any means. I've never claimed that; never will. But very seldom have I ever lied to my friends, I always am empathetic with them and give them good advice, I've listened to them talk about each other while seeing their point of view but reminding them of the others at the same time. I care. A lot. And the worst thing possible for me is when my friends are mad at me, think I lie, think I don't care, etc. It's the worst feeling ever. And I'm not saying that's exactly what I'm feeling at this moment...I don't know what it is.

It's just terribly frustrating. There are one or two people in particular who I feel I'm drifting away from...and I don't know why. One in particular-I feel like I don't even matter anymore. I know that seems melodramatic, but it's not meant to be. It's not like this is a "ughdjsg my friends hate me" kind of thing...but something just isn't right. I can't bring it up because I don't even know how to bring it up with anyone. I can't even make sense of it myself.

Fuck it. How can I be upset about something I can't even know myself?
 
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Why does my life have to be so small, and nothing's forever?   
05:41pm 10/11/2006
  Wow. Can we say busy life?

yes. yes we can. and by we i mean me (well i'm sure you all can "say" it too, but I mean it more figuratively than literally)

anyhoo, i know i haven't been ljing it up in a while and im sure no one reads this anymore, but i do occasionally check my fl to see what you crazy cats are up to so ya know...don't forget me like the government FORGOT ABOUT THE REPUBLICANS THIS PAST WEEK!

yes oh sweet burn!

man i'm so excited. voting turned out well..on a national level. however, i won't go into all the disappointments i have on how voting on issues turned out in good ole wisconsin...


ah well, moving on, I am freezing as I write this.

and am in the mood to write. about what, i don't know.
I just feel like writing.

and i only had one full day of classes this week. every other day was in esscence, a half day.

how sweet is that??


fnvzavjadvkjbajkdasvjabvakbj. i have nothing of value to say really, so i think it's tata for now.


And to the cavern's of tomorrow, with just our flashlights and our love,
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge...


Oh bright eyes.

[random sidenote: bright eyes has based a majority of his songs on my friend kenzie's aunt(well aunt technically, but she's close in age to kenzie so more like cousin) and they used to date. weird huh? yeah.]



[WTF WAS WITH ME AND CAPS IN THIS ENTRY? I randomly decided what I could and couldn't capitalize, paying no heed to grammar...]

I'm badass.
 
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07:37pm 27/09/2006
  I have this unsettling, wonderful feeling of everything going terribly wrong and terribly right at the same time.

My life is one big contradiction.
Damn the man.
I ain't got no rights!


So School has been going eh lately...I've been working harder and studying more, but my grades are kinda going the opposite ish. I don't know...blah.

Theatre is definetly the best class in the entire world. No homework, no tests...no notes. Just weird projects that Doc. gives A's to everyone on. Like mimes dealing with being born and stealing ice cream... Man oh man.

I landed myself in the theatre company this year and have been given a role in the spring play. Wooot!

I shall be playing desdemona in "Goodnight Desdemona (Good Morning Juliet".

It's gonna be hilarious. I can't wait.

Homecoming is Saturday and I'm very stressed because I have to kinda go to two of them (ours and teddy's) at once ish if that makes sense. Why does my school system have to be so dumb? Honestly! Who puts two rival schools' homecomings on the same day! WHY???

Ah well. Hopefully it all works out. This is pointless and was supposed to start of serious but I got lazy and sidetracked. Damn.

Peaces Behbehs
 
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01:39pm 29/08/2006
  Jesus I'm being a horrible el jayer.

Why haven't any of you stabbed me in the chin yet?
Holy man.

Well I have been quite busy trying to make the most of the last days of summer...I start on Friday at 10:15 am...and it will be horrible horrible horrible.

But ah well. Me and the bitches are going out for breakfast first at the coffee pot like usual so that should make it less miserable...

But I am not looking forward to this schedule and locker placement. It makes nooooo fucking sense. Usually locker assignments have some sort of semblence of order...but this year, its so shitastically jumbled I don't wanna think about it! My locker is 135 right near the main office...i went from 2052...to 135...wtf?? And like everyone elses is upstairs...which makes it inconvient to share lockers also. DAMN THE MAN!

Anyhoo. Scheduleage...

1st Semester

1 French-Ehrenreich
2 Concert Choir-Benson
3 Ancient Civ.-Paciero
4 Intro to Theatre-Staggenbo
5 Bio-Vida
6 PE-Finger
7 Adv. English-Sorensen
8 Math-Fleuchaus

2nd Semester

1 French-Ehrenreich
2 Concert Choir-Benson
3 Web Page Design-Mantei
4 Study Hall-Belfer
5 Bio-Vida
6 Modern Civ.-Camosy
7 Advanced English-Sorensen
8 Math-Fleuchaus

Thank goddddd math is last.

YES!

Anyhoo...it will be a lot of runnig but classes should be better than last year so meh...


Oh. And in other news, I have got myself a boyfriend.
Fancy that eh??

His name is tedddy. And he's a jerk.

Not really. I just like to call him that.

Teehee wow I need to shower. Wing night tonight!

woot woot! how exciting!
 
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BITCH!   
09:49pm 06/08/2006
  HELLO LOVES!
I'm back from vacation finally.
Jeazle petes what a good time.

So many places visited and so many friends made...shit.
Pretty much the best time of my life.

Update and pictures shall ensue tomorrow when I'm not so tired.

I hope all of you guys had good days whilst i was gone. I'm off to go get the dilio from the fl right now.

Cherrio >3
 
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08:30pm 20/07/2006
  Jealze petes! I'm leaving again tomorrow!
For two weeks.

fndsajgbnsdjlgnbsabngdbsa

I kinda don't wanna leave but whatever.

I hope you all enjoy your summer whilst I am away and unable to check my fl.
>33333333333333333333
 
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10:03pm 09/07/2006
  ITALY WON THE WORLLLDDDD CUPPPPP!!!!

Intense, intense...

Today was a good day. Not only did italy win the motherfucking world cup (see above for more details...), but I hung out with mark which I haven't done in quite awhile. We just sat around and listened to music and wrote a funky song...it was pretty sweet. Then I went to my picture party for Ireland (that update IS coming...I promise) and it was awesome because even though I've only been home a week, it seems like a million weeks and I miss it just like I miss all the people I got to see tonight.


gfndjsgjdsagnjabngjkdalbjk!

So uh...yeah.

I saw POTC2 last night. I highly enjoyed it.
And tomorrow, I get to go AGAIN, because my mom wants to see it.

Yay for 2 days of Johnny Depp piraty goodness.


*inaudible sexual noises*


Yeah....

G'night loves >3
 
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"Summerfest...like you people from Wisconsin need another excuse to drink..."   
01:34pm 07/07/2006
  Holy shit and a half I am in dire need of updateage.
I still have to do my glorious, massive Ireland update...but I think I'll save that for later.

But for now I bring you...

SUMMERFEST '06

This year was considerably better than last year. Times a million.
Trent, Linz, Grace and I took the park and ride down and got there at like 6 something. We had like 3 hours to kill until the glorious FLOGGGGGINNNNGGGG MOLLLLLYYYY went on, so we walked around a bit in search of mozzerella sticks that did not cost 6 dollars. However, our quest ended in heartbreak because NOTHING at summerfest is fairly priced. It is a money sucking mother fucker. But we gave into it and bought a cheeze curd, fries and mozzerella stick basket type thing. Right as we started eating it, some chick that looked about 25 but was shorter than me came up and just stared at our food for about 2 minutes. Then she proceeded to point to a cheese curd, ask what it was, say "I'm not from these parts" and take one. And another one. And another one. She ate allllll our cheese curds! We were all "WTF Mate?" and ran away. I should have punched her in the mouth.

After seeing some people we knew, we went off in search for Kyle and his friend Matt because we were supposed to meet them down there. They said they were in the gaming tent with all the people playing quake...BUT THEY LIED! Oh yes they did. They were most certainly not in that tent. We even went into the back room to find them. It was kind of awkward seeing as we were the only girls in a dark back room filled with game addicted boys...but meh. After some more searching we finally found them and sat and talked with them for awhile which was fun because they are hilarious kids. Oh man...then sean showed up and we went and got AMP before heading over to the Briggs and Straton stage to see FLOGGGGINNNNGGGGGG MOLLLLLLY!

We got there early and I got us right up front, in front of all the bleachers, on the left hand side. We were right in front of a guy who was even more drunk than the guys we met last year, so we had some entertainment before the band came on. We were also by some kid named Elliot from Mequon who took a real liking to Grace and she ended up getting to go up on the bleachers next to him the whole entire time. We saw Dom too which was okay because he wasn't being as much of an asshole as usual. As he put it "There isn't enough room to beat you guys up here!". Thank god for that seeing as I didn't much feel like being flipped upside down over his shoulder and pretty much getting KILLED. Ahfdajggk...anyhooo...then flogging molly came on.

Not even two songs into the set we all got douched in beer but I didn't even notice. They were that amazing times 53758726743607847867430267y064376175672156578yt78thuibwuituiy347! They were just so full of energy and so passionate, it was wonderful!

SET LIST (as best as I can remember it and not in any order)
Another Bag of Bricks
Screaming at the Wailing Wall
Drunken Lullabies
What's Left of the Flag
Whistles the Wind ( i think )
Within a Mile of Home
Selfish Man
The Worst Day Since Yesterday
Devil's Dance Floor
If I Ever Leave This World Alive
The Kilburn High Road
Rebels of the Sacred Heart
Factory Girls
Queen Anne's Revenge
Tobacco Island ( I think )

And then Grace of God go I and Seven Deadly Sins were played for the encore :)

Quotes include the one that is the heading on this entry, "fuck! oops...oh well, I'm Irish...what do you expect?" and, to some old guy in the audience "I'm glad you finally took those sunglasses off. Only two types of people wear sunglasses at night. Blind people, and arseholes. What's that? Your an asshole/ Oh that's good"

T'was simply amazing. I took some great videos on my camera, screamed my lungs out and pretty much had the most fun I've had in awhile.

So now...I bring you PIIIICCCTUUURREEEESSS!

[EDIT]
I forgot to mention what happened on the bus on the way home...

So we were on the bus coming back and there was this piss drunk guy sitting near the front. His head was down and he was mumbing and stuff and his girlfriend or friend or whatever was trying to comfort him. All the sudden, he whipped out his cock and started peeing everywhere mumbling "i need a blow job right now!" and everyone told him to put it away and he was all "I'm proud of what i got". People kept yelling at him and he put it away only to whip it out a few minutes later, proceed to piss in a trashcan near the front of the bus, then dump the trash can over and start peeing everywhere. After that, he got real sick and threw up allll over the chick in front of him...

It was just delightful.

CLLEEEKKCollapse )
 
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I wanna lover, but I can't find the time   
12:10am 01/07/2006
  I'm back.
I'm too tired to update right now, but expect one tomorrow.
Let's just say Ireland is my favorite country in the world and these past 10 days were some of the best of my life for now.

>3 peace loves >3
 
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that's when things got out of control...   
01:32pm 18/06/2006
  So..pretty much spent the whole weekend with g-race. It was fun but we realized we have no life.

Friday was leslie's party which was uhh...interesting for a number of reasons but I don't feel like going into that right now. I'll just put some things to jog my memory when i read this later in life...

-Randy Spud
-Walks
-The Beatles
-Death
-Loveline
-Kindergarten
-BAD
-MYKKEEELL
-Freeway
-Juse's Car
-Water
-Brad
-Marco Polo

Mmk.

Moving on...then yesterday I went out to lunch with my mom and broha and we went to borders. Then I went downtown and hung out with grace and maria and katie and trent came for a bit...and i went home because it was 90000000 degrees out and I had to open father's day stuff with my dad early...
Then grace and I went back downtown at 8 and saw josh and kylie and a bunch of other people...and then we went to my house and ate trix and watched the family stone.




Wow, what exciting lives we lead.

But speaking of exciting, I leave for Ireland tomorrow@ I'll be back on the 30th. So all of you chilllins' better behave and leave me love.

Woooott.

>33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
 
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I did her on his birthday...   
09:44pm 13/06/2006
  Today was pretty cool yo.
I walked to grafton on the bike path and met gracbbiieeee at kohls and we looked around...and then we went to shopko and looked around to kill time until she had her interview at cousins.
At two we walked over there and I filled out an application and she had her interview. And we both drooled at phil and luke and then ran out giggling. I hope she gets the job. And that they set up an interview for me after I turn in the app. Then we went to pick'n save and baught chips and a SoBe and ate it near the abandoned K-Mart parking lot. Then I walked home.

When we were in Shopko we saw the most terrifying human being ever! That sounds bad but I'm being honest. She was maybe 60 pounds, 4'11" and 80 years old. And she looked like a hobit, wearing sunglasses, with a creepy pedaphile-esque grin. And she hobbled.
And we saw her again in Pick'n save.

It was weird. Yet hilarious.

Then I got a haircut. And now I'm sitting here so bored out of my fucking mind you have no idea.

Blah.
 
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05:53pm 12/06/2006
  So yesterday was kinda fun I suppose. Went to kohls to buy some new jeans for Ireland...then went over to Ria's with Katie, Hannah, Linz, and Grace. We went in the hot tub, walked around the block in our towels because we are so lyke hxc lyke omfffggzzzz...and then sat around and prank called almost everyone on Ria's contact list...oh and I got mad beat up by linz 'yo.

Word.

However tonight they are all going to a movie and I can't becuause of lack of moneyage but ah well.
More time to sit and think about things I've been trying not to think about all weekend.

*le sigh*


great.
 
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03:23pm 09/06/2006
 
mood: pissed off
This summer is officially off to a shitty, horrible start.

I fucking knew it.
 
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11:08pm 03/06/2006
  Kylie and Josh just got in a car accident. They were driving around with Emily and Jenna and they hit a guy on a motorcycle...

I don't really know the whole story...but I guess they're all okay.
Apparently the motorist got hurt real bad though...


Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
 
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Shit son   
05:12pm 23/05/2006
 
mood: bored
8 days. 8 days of school left and then 3 days of exams and I can blow that hell hole of a popstand for glorious summer freedom.

Shit. This year has been so insanely fast that I am quite honestly terrified.

My mind is still stuck in last summer...

*le sigh*

This weekend was pretty fun for the most part. Sat. we celebrated gracccccieee's birfday (whcih is now christened cinco de PIE-O). We all went downtown and ate at tomasos and then went to piggly wiggly and bought a pie...and ate it. Then grace and linz came over to my mom's house and we ordered a pizza and we got baloooooons! And we went downtown again and sat at the park and got rained on and yeah...it was fun.

There were some things that got in my way of total happiness...but I'd rather not discuss that because it's a waste of my fucking time.

However, on another yet still disheartening note...I've had this pit in my stomach lately that something bad is on its way and it's going to bring a lot of horrible change with it...I don't know.

Blah.

I think I'm going to go etudier pour les examens de anglais demain (stfu if that is not really gramatically correct...I'm lazy. And it's not like it's a french test...

Methinks it be on Romeo and Juliet.
Blah...BOOORRRRRIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGGG.

I'm jealous of the class that's reading Macbeth...that's so much better.


>3
 
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04:57pm 15/05/2006
  Dead. TJ and Brian are dead.
And today was one of the hardest and longest days of school ever.

I found out on saturday. They were driving back from a basketball tournement. Brian's dad was driving and his mom was in the front. They were turning at an intersection when a car bumped them from behind into another lane.

They got hit by a semi.

Only Brian's mom survived.

I had to go in and sit in the CPAC and watch tons of people I care about, my cast mates, my friends, people I'd never expect to show much emotion, bawl like the world had just crashed down.

Jason wasn't even there because he couldn't move he was in so much pain. Brian was his best friend.

I didn't really know brian and tj...but in a school of 1200 kids...you pretty much know everyone. I know that Brian was on the basketball team and he did the afternoon anouncements on friday and my friend had a crush on him. I know that they were loved by many people and lived life to the fullest.

But watching everyone break down and thinking about all the people I've lost, and all the people that have died at cedarburg high school in the past years and thinking about mackenzie and lexi and how it could've been any one of my friends or me...I just exploded. Even though I didn't know them.

Thankfully the people in my cast are the best people in the entire world and were there just as much for me as I was for them.

Today at school it was dead quiet most of the day.
I almost broke out crying when I saw jason and phil and bob and all of their other friends march around the hallways all day in their basketball jerseys blasting music and singing at the top of their lungs. I would never be that strong.

I saw all of their other friends bawling in the hallways on the way to class, in between classes, after school...

You'd think for a school that loses 1-3 students every year (this year it was 3)you'd be able to expect it.

But it's always the ones that are the least deserving.

RIP Guys...save some astronauts up in heaven for us. ♥
 
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12:05am 13/05/2006
  So...the first two nights of the show have gone awesome.

I love everybody in this cast. Dearly. And I love th rituals and the cast parties and the dinners beforehand and just theatre in general.

*le sigh*

I can't believe we're losing so many wonderful people at the end of this year.
I think I might cry.

>3
 
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03:50pm 09/05/2006
  So I'm sick...and it's right in the middle of hell week for the play. Opening night is in TWO days. That's horrifying.

So basically even though I'm slightly dying, I have to go to rehearsel from 5:30 to 9:30....

And somewhere in there sneak down to the commons and participate someway in my forensics banquet...and say goodbye to mrs. k...and get my bull award.

What an exciting night this is gonna be.


blah.

peacebitches >3
 
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